Just the Once
by aquadulcis
Summary: Gojyo has done it with Goku once. Just once. PWP
1. Chapter 1

Just the Once.  
A fic by Aquadulcis.

Gojyo's done it with Goku once.  
Just the once.

--

It was raining again, heavy drops hitting the tin roof in a steady staccato. Hakkai and the shitty Priest had holed themselves up in their room like always and Goku had yet to stop climbing the walls. Gojyo himself had nothing against the rain and he was sick of other people ruining it for him. It put him off his cigarettes.

They'd already had one screaming fight that evening because Goku wouldn't stop pacing. Gojyo was now sulking in a corner and Goku was doing pushups. When he forgot to be angry at him, Gojyo found him fairly impressive. He was doing them one armed now, switching sides periodically. The kid had good arms for a midget.

Years spent clinically judging people by their physical attractiveness told him that Goku was turning out fine. He was proportionate if a little short, compact and lithely muscled. His hair was a rich brown, charmingly disheveled and his skin was smooth and golden. Normally he wouldn't be thinking overmuch on male attractiveness but since swearing off women a few years ago (roughly three months after meeting Hakkai), he'd started… looking. Not that he ever acted on it but he was starting to understand just what women saw in men.

Something that had really perplexed him before.

Gojyo was fairly sure that Goku was in love with Sanzo. The younger man had an endless tolerance for Sanzo's grumpy eccentricity and a way of handling him that no one else had ever learnt. Sanzo was pretty fucked up though, probably been messed around with when he was younger and even prettier. Gojyo saw the wisdom is keeping a certain physical distance from him. The one taboo that Sanzo hadn't broken was his vow of chastity and Gojyo wasn't sure if that was because people disgusted him or because he wasn't keen on leaving his weak spots vulnerable for as long as it took to get off.

Getting off would be a good way to waste a rainy evening, decided the hanyou. Convincing his roommate was going to take work though, unless he found the right way to approach it. Aside from fighting, food and Sanzo, Goku was fairly ambivalent about the world. He had a wide-eyed appreciation but he wouldn't go out of his way to learn something new if it involved a book.

This wasn't books though… It was a physical activity of sorts. Goku was always up for a challenge like that, even if he thought Gojyo was a pervert for chasing skirts. He'd go the direct route, then.

"Hey, Goku, want to pop your cherry?"

Goku fell to the floor, hardwood, no carpeting, with a loud thump.

"What the Fuck, cockroach!?"

The kid rolled over and glared at him, lips contorting into a disgusted grimace. Gojyo had made the right choice then. It was much easier to get Goku to do things when he was confused and a little pissed off.

"Hey, Goku," Gojyo repeated, over pronouncing the syllables of the other man's name, Go-kuh-oo, "Do you want to get your cherry popped?"

Gojyo said the word 'pop' like it was an obscenity, rolling off his tongue and exaggerating the plosives. Goku blanched and the blushed scarlet.

"Fuck you," Goku managed to stutter, "I'm not touching your diseased ass, you'll give me the clap or something."

Gojyo had the upper hand, so he let that one slide on by.

"I'm clean, monkey. Can _you_ think of a better way to spend tonight?"

Goku honestly couldn't but he maintained that that was because they had very few options this far west, in such a shitty town.

Gojyo found the admission highly amusing.

Gojyo walked over to him and Goku, clearly disgusting himself, backed away, hands up in front of him.

"No, Gojyo, go find a whorehouse."

"I don't want a whorehouse."

"I don't want to sleep with _you_."

"Well good thing I didn't want to sleep, what, would you rather fool around with someone else?"

Goku blushed and glared, "Fuck you."

"That is the idea, monkey." Gojyo smiled lecherously and tried to use his attractiveness to his advantage, moving in a graceful way he knew Goku would appreciate, "I know you're not saving yourself, so why not enjoy ourselves?"

Goku looked towards the far wall, towards Sanzo. He always knew where Sanzo was and as Sanzo knew when Goku was pained and missing him, Goku had some reciprocal feeling.

Goku looked back at Gojyo, "I'm not in the mood."

Gojyo slowly raised a hand to cup the back of Goku's head. A gesture he knew the kid would appreciate. Goku softened perceptibly.

"Maybe I can do something about that," Gojyo murmured.

Goku snorted but did not shy away this time. His curiosity had been aroused and was flashing in his eyes. The gauntlet had been thrown and now it was up to Gojyo to prove that this was worth his time.

Gojyo knew exactly how, too.

--

Goku made a breathy moan and Gojyo smirked around his dick. The kid was a natural work of art when he was like this. His inane grin melted off his face and exposed pouty lips and big golden eyes. He looked older this way but charmingly less sure of himself. For the moment, anyway.

Goku's head tilted back, exposing a long, tan neck and Gojyo remembered that he had an itch to scratch too. He suddenly had the urge to fuck the kid, properly. To dip his fingers in the slick he had under his pillow and open him up. He wrapped his tongue around Goku's length, as far he could and slipped off slowly.

Goku's fingers scrambled at the blankets. His head whipped up and his bruised lips twisted into a snarl. Gojyo grinned at him, manic and high on how sure he was that the monkey would be up for it.

"I wanna fuck, Goku," He said, rolling the words off and spitting the kid's name like it was an expletive.

Goku glared back, "Fine, fuck me but do it before you give me blue balls, you asshole."

Gojyo laughed a little under his breath, glad that he'd extended Goku's education past the academic bounds that Hakkai insisted on. He reached for the lube and saw that it had rolled off onto the floor. When he looked up Goku was giving him something that was between a pout and a sneer, leaning back on his elbows and canting his hips.

"Did the monks teach you this?" Gojyo asked, a little curious and wanting to see how much he could make the kid squirm.

He snorted instead.

"I walked in on a monk and an initiate once, before I figured out what the smell meant." Gojyo circled his hole with a fingertip, making the kid whimper, "After that I had to, to be careful not to trip over them in the kitchen at ni-ight."

"Do you like that?" Gojyo asked, voice pitched deep and warm, as he slipped his index finger inside.

Goku grunted in response.

He felt around for a little while, watching Goku blush and cry out softly. He found a little nub and pressed against softly, just to watch Goku gasp.

"I bet I could make you come with just one finger, Goku." Gojyo whispered, his long reach allowing him to lean in close.

Goku twisted in response, hips undulating and his cock heavy and purple.

Gojyo pushed another finger in, slowly starting to scissor them and rotate them around. With his free hand he awkwardly reached down to cup Goku's balls, rolling gently. He started to slip his fingers in and out, in and out. Showing the other man just what he was going to do, allowing him to rock his hips a little in time to the thrusts. He kept away from Goku's prostate, now desperate to feel the younger man coming around him. Goku winced as he added a third finger.

"Y're hurting me, jerk."

"No pain, no gain, half pint."

Goku growled again and leant back, panting softly and glaring.

"Smartass, if you're not careful I'll give you a bad review-oh!"

Gojyo was very busily trying to not lose his patience and bury himself directly inside Goku's pleasantly muscled ass. He removed his fingers, grabbed a condom (he tore the packet open with his teeth), slid it on and lubed up his dick. He used his fingers to open Goku's hole again, rimming it for a glorious moment and nudging his cockhead against it. Goku slipped a pillow under his hips, to support his back and flopped down onto the mattress again. Gojyo eased in by increments, lazily enjoying the tightness around him and the way Goku's face shifted every time he pushed forward. Gojyo knew he was damn good at this. Every whimper darted down to his cock.

"Gojyo, Gojyo," The kid cried out, softly like a plea or a prayer.

"That's it," He whispered, blood rushing through his veins like water through rapids, "Give it up, give it to me, relax."

Goku tensed, suddenly overwhelmed by being so full, so stretched taut around another man's hard cock. Gojyo shushed him, ran his hands up his sides, let himself ease out slowly and slide back in. Goku shivered and twitched and cried out.

"Unh, you feel big," He whined, and here Gojyo's dick swelled in spite of himself, "Hurts, God, I'm gonna cum."

Gojyo snapped his hips and twisted one of Goku's nipples because, damn, this was the first time in his life that he'd liked hearing Goku talk.

"You like it, don't you? Tell me."

The younger man started to thrash a little, squeezing him and Gojyo didn't think he'd felt anything better than this tight, hot, slick ass.

"No… You're trying to 'mbara… Ah! Embarrass me."

"I like it, I think you might be the best I've ever had, you know," Gojyo smiled rakishly and closed his eyes, "You just open up for me, do you know how you feel wrapped around me?"

"Unh!" Goku reached down between them, forcibly unclenching his hand from the bed sheets, and wrapped his hand around his dick.

"You're tight like a vice but you're still rolling your hips into me, taking more of me,"

"Oh _fuck_."

Gojyo allowed himself to lean further forward and press his lips to Goku's. The kid's mouth opened obediently for him and he slipped his tongue inside. Goku groaned low in his throat. Gojyo pulled back slightly, brushing lips and tongue over Goku's ear.

"Come on, come on, give it up Goku, I know you want to. Cum all over me. Cum because I've got my big cock up your virgin ass."

"Fuck, yes!" And Goku did cum then, squeezing even tighter and splattering them both with creamy spunk.

Goku went limp, even though Gojyo was still fucking him. The kid looked up at him, shocked and sated. He rocked out slowly only to push in as hard as their position would allow. Goku made soft, desperate huffs each time he did it and goddamn did he love hearing them. Goku's head rolled back on his shoulders and he bit his lip.

"Gojyo, Gojyo cum in me…"

His orgasm pulsed out unexpected and Goku felt it even through the rubber. Goku reclined back again, exhaling and Gojyo allowed himself a shit-eating grin out of sheer sexual satisfaction. He slipped out slowly and had enough presence of mind to throw the used condom in the trash.

Then he leant back a little and looked at Goku's winking hole, vaguely wishing he could see his own semen dripping out of it. There wasn't any more than a few smears of blood, par to the course. He glanced up to see Goku glaring at him.

"You fucking perve." He spat.

And Gojyo burst out laughing.

--

Gojyo did not repeat the experience.

It is raining again, for the first time since Gojyo got his rocks off up Goku's ass. Sanzo and Hakkai have holed themselves up in their room, again and Goku is climbing the walls, again. Gojyo had been vaguely surprised that Sanzo hadn't known what the two of them had got up to last time but Goku had explained it to him.

"I wasn't thinking about _him_, was I?"

Still, Gojyo was again spending an entire rainy evening, bummed, bored and smoking. It kind of took the golden edge off getting laid and getting away with it without some new drainage holes. Then Goku started exercising again.

He's watched Goku stretching like a cat, doing pushups with one arm and grimacing in an accomplished kind of way for an entire hour. Gojyo is now standing up and doing something about it. He is very pleased when Goku makes the same accomplished grimace as Gojyo pushes him face down into his mattress. Gojyo has done it with Goku once thus far.

--

This is a repost of a fic on affnet. I'm going to add more chapters over the next couple of days. If you enjoy your unconventional pairings, let me know :)


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter two: Shit of a night...

--

"Slower, mm-uh! Slower!"

"Do you wanna stop? 'Cause 'm so close you'll have to blow me if we do."

"Nuh, fuck, not enough lube for how you fuck, go slow."

"Oh yeah, so hot."

"That's it, m'close... close."

"Should... should do this again... another time... less fucked up... time."

"Shut up, bite me, gets me there... gets me... unh."

"Dirty."

"Oh, nuh, nuh, fuck me fuckme!"

"God, take it you cunthole, take my cock!"

"Fuck!"

"Hah, hah... shit."

"_Fuck_, feel better, needed that."

"Hell yeah."

"Can't feel my ass anymore."

"Shit."

"What? What'd you do?"

"Um, should have listened to you about slowing down."

"Am I bleeding? Gojyo, something's dripping down my leg, did you bust my fucking ass open?"

"Well, sorta but, um..."

"Spit it the fuck out, what did you do? I _need_ my ass."

"Uh, condom broke."

"..."

"I'm sure I'm clean."

"I hate you sometimes."

...

It had been a shit day. There'd been rain and youkai and Sanzo'd had to yell at everyone because they were idiots. Despite his best attempts his sutra had gotten wet and it always took for bloody ever to dry properly. He'd gotten blood on his shoes from one of Gojyo's messy kills. Then Gojyo'd had the indecency to be pissed when he took a potshot at him. Then the stupid bloody jeep drove into a pit trap and had be carried ten fucking kilometres, still in the rain, until they hit a village. A village with only two spare rooms in a leaky inn. So he was stuck rooming with Hakkai, still the best of very poor choices, while he sulked over his pet dragon.

And now, just as he was getting ready to smoke and glare out the window, youkai were attacking again.

"Sanzo, we are here for the..." Screeched a grey-coloured youkai.

Sanzo shot him between his pointy eyes.

"Shut the fuck up, I'm not in the mood."

Hakkai stood up, sighing wearily and took position by the window.

"I'll hold them off here for a while." He said, gingerly placing Jeep on the bedside table.

"I'll go get the other two." Grunted Sanzo.

He didn't encounter anymore youkai on his way to the two idiots' room. He could hear them coming up the stairs though. He decided to kick their door down to save some time. His foot hit the cheap wood with a very satisfying crunch and he heard Gojyo whining before he saw him.

"Look, I said I was sorry."

"Hey fuckwits, we've got comp... ah..."

It took Sanzo a few seconds to believe what he was seeing. For a millisecond he thought the slut and the ape had gotten into a fight and Gojyo'd pinned him to the desk that had come with their room. Then it occurred to him that their pants were both down and Goku looked wet-eyed and Gojyo looked guilty. Then it occurred to him that Goku had bite marks on his neck. Then it occurred to him that there was blood dripping down the inside of Goku's thighs.

Among other fluids.

It took Sanzo no time at all to come to a conclusion after that.

Sanzo took aim at Gojyo's head.

"I am going to kill you, you sorry fucking piece of shit whore."

"Sanzo! We are here for the..."

"Fuck! Off!" Sanzo spun his arm and fired a round, "Can't you see I'm fucking busy!"

Sanzo heard the tinkle of breaking glass and realised that Gojyo had made a break for it, one short look told him that he'd taken Goku along. Sanzo turned to the youkai staring at the dust of their fallen companion.

"Assfucker took my fucking monkey!" Sanzo screamed, "Not. Fucking. Interested in dealing with you right. Now."

The youkai looked amongst themselves for a moment. They nudged the least stupid of their number forward.

"Um, was that a euphemism?"

"No!" Sanzo shouted, then he shot a youkai that looked vaguely like Gojyo in the foot. He fell over.

The youkai looked at their fallen comrade then they looked at their smart one.

"I can see that this is a bad time, so we'll just come back tomorrow..." said the youkai, as reasonably as possible.

Sanzo glared.

"We'll come back next Tuesday, maybe. We'll send you a note first."

Sanzo's upper lip curled skyward, "Whatever it takes to get you out of my sight."

The smart youkai rapidly flicked his hands towards the stairwell. His companions picked up their fallen comrade and made a run for it. The smart youkai backed away slowly.

"Thank you very much Sanzo-sama, we look forward to getting kill- I mean dealing with you in the future."

Then he ran.

Sanzo turned around and walked back towards his room. Hakkai was still standing by the window, looking perplexed. He turned towards the priest and shrugged his shoulders.

"They're gone." He said, "How very odd."

Sanzo took a moment because he wasn't really sure how he was going to break his news easily to one of the few people he genuinely respected in this world.

"Are Goku and Gojyo alright?"

"No and not when I get my hands on him."

Hakkai gave him a Look, "Sanzo, what's going on."

So he told him.

--

"Fuck, _fuck_."

Gojyo wasn't exactly sure how to deal with the monkey when he was like this, mainly because he never acted like this. Goku had three main ways of being, he could be hungry (for food, a fight or entertainment), he could be happy (because he had food, a fight or entertainment) or he could be mopey because of Sanzo.

He'd never chucked an anguished wobbly before.

"Goku, look." Gojyo tried, switching to his brother voice even though he'd just fucked the kid raw less than an hour before.

"_Shutup!_" Goku screeched, "Do you even know how fucking mad he is right now!"

Gojyo swallowed.

"Take the scorpion incident, the day you used his newspaper in the bog, every time someone has mistaken him for a woman." Goku hissed, "Take all those things and then multiply them by a million, that's how fucking pissed he is."

Gojyo remembered the bog incident and shuddered, "Oh, crap."

"He's going to rip you a new areshole and I don't even know what he's going to do to me." Goku continued, voice climbing in pitch, "I can see locks though and caves and dark places and I can't fucking go back there."

Goku took a deep, gulping breath.

"Not again. Can't do it. Can't do it again."

Goku curled in on himself. Gojyo slumped down next to him, listening to the rain bucketing down outside the cave they'd holed up in. Water dripped into a miserable puddle by his feet. He heard the monkey sniffle.

"I'm sorry Goku," He ventured gently, "I never meant for the monk to find out about this."

"He's not good with this stuff," he said softly, completely ignoring the fact that Sanzo wasn't particularly good with any form of stuff, "He's going to hate me now."

"Well he's an ass then." Said Gojyo.

Goku glared at him but it was half-hearted.

"Didn't even hear him coming." Gojyo said, surprise overpowering the dread.

"Neither did I, I was too distracted by being angry at you."

"Wish we'd taken a moment to pull our pants up before we had that conversation."

Goku blushed, "Did the rain wash away the... stuff... on my legs."

Gojyo took a peek.

Goku looked at him expectantly.

"You're good." Gojyo replied, relieved.

Goku's head hit the rock behind him as he leaned back.

"Thank God."

"Don't thank that bitch, I'm sure she had a hand in this."

--

The barman gave the scarred, leery man and the kid with the gold headwear a speculative look. The younger of the two huffed worriedly and turned towards the door, as though waiting for someone to come through it. The older simply leered even more than had been.

"So, you boys are bouncers then?" he asked doubtfully.

"Yes we are and I can tell from your sign outside that you're in need of some." Replied the smarmy, red-haired man.

A man in a brown coat came sailing through the bar's front window.

"You could say that," said the barman, idly polishing a glass in the manner of all barmen everywhere.

The brown-haired youth walked over to the man who'd just flown in.

"So, what's the payscale?"

Two more men came climbing in through the broken window. The first man had a chair in his hands ready for smashing.

"We pay you by the hour, it's..."

The brunet grabbed the chair and tore it from the brown-coated man's grasp. He put it down and was heard to mutter _chairs are for sitting in_. Then he picked the man up and threw him back out the window.

"That's fair. I'm Gojyo by the way, the guy throwing people out of your bar is Goku."

Goku approached the two newcomers, _windows are not for walking through_.

"I'm the barman." Said the barman.

Goku threw them out the window too and then climbed after them.

The barman and Gojyo watched with vague interest until he returned through the front door, a small group of bruised men following him.

"What do we walk through?" asked the young man.

"Doors." Droned the fully grown, adult males.

"That's right." Said the kid, stonily, "Drink your beer now."

He walked back to the bar, face taut and grumpy. Gojyo patted his shoulder absent-mindedly.

"He's a little stressed today," said Gojyo, "Makes him remember all the etiquette lessons we couldn't teach him."

--

"How long have we got?"

"He's two days away and closing."

"We better have a solid story by the time he gets here."

--

Hakkai wasn't exactly sure of how to deal with all his many problems. It wasn't so much the usual issues that weren't quite dealt with, he was used to _them_. It was having them on top of the apparent elopement of his best friend and the boy he thought of as a little brother (or at least a student). He'd always felt that if Gojyo decided to finally explore his sexuality, he'd ask Sanzo...

Or he'd ask Hakkai himself.

A larger part than he cared to admit was a little put off by the fact that Gojyo hadn't even bothered to _try_ asking him. He'd gone to Goku, charming, simple little Goku who was capable of punching people's arms off. As adamant as Sanzo was that Gojyo had taken liberties with his monkey, Hakkai just couldn't believe it. Gojyo quite simply didn't have that in him. Persistence, yes but he backed off far more quickly than most when he wasn't wanted. Hakkai imagined that if Goku didn't want to have sex he'd just start breaking things until Gojyo stopped trying to have it.

Hakkai had always known that he was the most insightful of all of them, not that that was difficult. He was still quietly amazed that he had missed _this_. He hadn't known that isolating himself and Sanzo when they were both bad company could result in Gojyo and Goku deciding to... Deciding to... Why on earth would they? Gojyo was supposed to be straight and any person with eyes to see could see that Goku was dedicated to _Sanzo_ and always would be.

Was it some kind of emotional blackmail? If Mum and Dad are too busy to give me attention I'll make them regret it? Wasn't he entitled to some time for himself, after all he spent all day looking after everyone, driving them places, getting them food, alcohol and cigarettes.

It reminded him of the awkward days when he and Gojyo hadn't known each-other well and got on each-other's nerves. To think that after all this time he'd missed something so big going on in Gojyo's mind. To think that Goku hadn't come to talk to him, instead of falling into bed with Gojyo. If Gojyo had even bothered to get him to the bed in the first place, if what Sanzo had said was true.

He stopped himself. That really wasn't fair of him to say. He was beginning to sound like the monk.

He'd had never realised quite how much Sanzo relied on Goku. Goku was stable in a way, so if Sanzo knew he was ok then he could handle other kinds of change.

Sanzo was getting more irate by the second, so Hakkai guessed that Goku _wasn't_ ok.

Sanzo was never happy when Goku wasn't ok.

--

Well, thought the barman, they hadn't done too bad on their first night. All the windows were still intact and only one spleen had been ruptured. He also had more intact glasses to clean than usual.

Gojyo, the tall one and Goku, the short one, sat down in front of the beer taps. Goku placed his elbow on the bartop and grimaced, his sleeve coming away soaked in something that might have been alcohol once. Gojyo laughed at him, then hailed the barman over.

"Hey, do you have a real name other than barman?" he asked.

"No," replied Barman, honestly, "My mother tried to call me Tallulah but it didn't stick."

Gojyo snorted out a laugh. Goku sighed.

"Barman, could you get us some whiskey?" said Gojyo, "I think the kid needs it."

Goku glared at him.

"Trust me Goku, it'll be good practice."

--

It turned out that Goku got drunk very quickly but could still manage to drink two bottles of Walker in under an hour. It was an interesting thing, watching someone give themselves alcohol poisoning. Gojyo took longer but he still got there.

Then he got to the point where he forgot Barman was there as well and bent Goku over a pool table. Barman was just glad he'd put the top back on it because it was hell getting cum stains out of felt. He sort of wondered how long it was going to take them to realise that he was still in the room.

"Goku, Goku, where's the lu-beh," muttered Gojo.

"I'm tired, ask the barman," slurred Goku, "I'm tired, so why don't you _fuck_ the barman."

"I don't really like guys, this is just keeping it in the... in the... family or whatever."

Barman, liberal that he was, thought that was passing creepy.

"Carry me to bed, m'tired and pissed." Whined Goku. And annoyingly so.

"Can't wait to be away from Sanzo," Groaned Gojyo, picking up the younger man like he was a bride going over a threshold, "Then I can introduce you to some gay bars, go out and fuck women, lovely, loverly women and not do this fucked up shit no more even if y'are sexy."

"I am sexy, aren't I?" Said Goku.

Barman wasn't much on emotion but he was a little happier to see them go than to hear them talk like that no more.

--

When Goku woke up the next morning he realised that all the clichés were true. He really did feel like something had crawled in his mouth, pissed itself and then died. His eyes really were going to crawl out his skull and his brain was sure to follow. He really should have drunk some damn water.

He rolled over, slowly, carefully and glared at Gojyo. After a while he realised that Gojyo was asleep, so he kicked him the groin.

Gojyo screeched like a bat out of hell.

Goku grabbed him by the tip of his pony tail, "I fuggin hate you for this, asshole."

Gojyo kneed him between the legs in retribution. He stopped crying after a little while.

"Goddamnit, I can't believe you tried to fuck me on a pool table in front of the barman." He squealed, memory rising out of the fog.

"Did I get to stick it in?" Gojyo mumbled, curled in the foetal position.

Goku kicked him again.

--

This is the next two chapters posted together. Tell me if you like where this is all going .


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter three: Cheap Therapy...

--

They checked the gambling dens, they checked the hotels, the checked the nearest bordello half a day away, they checked every bar that served women. Then they realised that, for once, either Gojyo or Goku had thought ahead and gone somewhere neither of them would usually go. That meant no women and bad food. Then they remembered the mining town.

--

When they finally camped out for the evening, still not entirely sure of where their companions had gone but closing in, things got awkward. For a while there was just silence but it wasn't the comfortable silence they were used to. It seemed to be filled with more silent accusations than usual. Sanzo broke first but that was only because no one could out wait Hakkai. Unfortunately he didn't take the time to choose the right words.

"So, did _you_ know that Gojyo was an equal opportunity batsman?" Sanzo also, unfortunately, did not keep a leer out of his voice.

Hakkai bristled, "He never brought a man home, if that's what you're asking, Sanzo."

Most people would have left things there. Most would have realised that they were tugging on a very frayed thread of conversation but Sanzo had never been part of any majority.

"We both know he did at least once, you were living together in a one bedroom house." Sanzo sneered. Because Sanzo, for all his complexity of character, was never more than an idiot when he was angry.

Hakkai's fists clenched and he reminded himself that Sanzo didn't know he had hang-ups about sex. He'd only ever told Gojyo everything about Kanan. Hakkai was well aware that he shouldn't let Sanzo get under skin. Unfortunately he could be very good at it. Hakkai stood up.

"Sanzo-_sama_, even if I had participated in relations with Gojyo, it wouldn't change the fact that I had no knowledge of him _taking_," Hakkai gritted out, feeling some guilty pleasure, "something you think was yours."

Hakkai wished then that his mouth were filled with pointy teeth because that would have felt more natural for this sort of confrontation.

Sanzo drew in a deep breath from his cigarette and exhaled a neat plume of smoke, glaring for all he was worth.

"You have no idea Cho Hakkai, no idea at all of how right you are." Hissed Sanzo. "The only reason Goku isn't chained to a rock, the only reason he doesn't obey me like a fucking robot is my generous spirit."

Hakkai's lip curled and he wanted to kill something, preferably what was in front of him at that instant.

"You talk about owning but you don't have a fucking clue what it's like to have that much power over another human being or whatever the fuck Goku is." Sanzo was standing as well now and shouting madly, "Goku, fucking _Goku_ gave me all that because somehow he thinks I'm worth it... but what the fuck am I supposed to ido/i with it? He's not a bauble I can give away when I get bored, the right words from me and I could break him. I can't even stop him from getting fucked up by one of _us_. What do you want me do?"

Hakkai blanched because usually he had the moral high ground but now he could feel it slowly slipping away from him. Sanzo gave him raw look and seemed years younger for it.

"I do own him, Hakkai." He said, voice returning to its normal level. "What the hell am I supposed to do with him?"

Sanzo sat down.

"I don't know." Replied Hakkai.

And then he sat down too.

--

Sanzo glared at the wet earth. "I know Gojyo didn't really force him."

Hakkai sighed.

"He made him bleed though. I don't want to let him get away with that."

"Maybe it wasn't entirely Gojyo's fault." Hakkai said softly.

Sanzo swallowed, "I know."

Admitting that cost him.

--

"Good God, I can't believe they were doing it on a desk." Said Hakkai, before taking a swig from the jug of sake they were sharing.

"I never wanted to see Gojyo naked from the waist down, he still had his shirt on. It looked ridiculous." Muttered Sanzo, nose twisting in distaste.

"I'll bet he almost shat himself." Said Hakkai, letting the alcohol invade his vocabulary as much as it was able to, which wasn't much.

"When I stop being disgusted I'll laugh about it." Snorted Sanzo, "He looked like I was about to shoot his balls off."

Hakkai allowed the pause.

"Which I was, coincidentally."

"At least I don't need to explain sex-ed to Goku anymore." Mused Hakkai.

"No, I kind of had to do part of that." Said Sanzo wincing.

Hakkai turned to look at him, "What do you mean?"

"He walked in on a monk and an initiate once." Replied Sanzo, "Before he figured out what the smell meant."

--

"I didn't fucking realise it at first," Slurred Sanzo, "By the time I did it was too fucking late. He'd already gone postal in front of everyone once and it wasn't as though I could just give him away. He'd never had to fend for himself, stupid monkey."

"I understand that." Said Hakkai.

"Then there was bloody you trying to gouge your eyes out and fucking Gojyo, fucking asshole," Sanzo said venomously, "Sweet fuck all chance of finding my bloody sutra in the middle of all that."

"I wish I could get drunk, Sanzo."

"No you don't, I'm going to regret this for many, many, many reasons tomorrow and you'll keep your tongue 'bout it until you need the leverage."

Hakkai opened his mouth to retort but, hell, it was completely true.

"Just 'cause you see right through me, right through everyone don't mean you see everything 'kai."

Hakkai nodded.

"I suppose I've allowed myself a few too many conceits in that regard, lately."

Sanzo was already asleep, propped up against Goku's sleeping bag.

Hakkai didn't move him.

--

"You know, I find it difficult to admit it but I _am_ a little hurt that Gojyo did not see fit to confide in me on this. I had thought that we were the sort of friends that talked to each other about these issues. Perhaps I'm less approachable than I thought I was." Said Hakkai, pensively.

"Things didn't go so well when we first became flatmates, you know. I felt like I was overstaying my welcome and he felt as though I was an unknown quantity that lived only to rearrange his house. After I beat up that gang with an umbrella, though, everything seemed to improve quite quickly. He told me about his brother and I told him about my... About my life before. Then we went on this pilgrimage and even though I got to know you and Goku better, suddenly the rainy days were harder to deal with and Gojyo and I weren't rooming together anymore. There just wasn't as much time to talk as there was before. I feel as though I'm losing my friend, by increments and I don't have many friends, Sanzo. They're a valuable commodity to me."

"I'm glad you're asleep, I'd hate to tell you these things while you were awake."

Sanzo cracked an eyelid.

"Says you, Hakkai."

--

Hakkai made sure to smile a little more brightly the next morning, just so Sanzo would know how cranky he was. Sanzo was too busy nursing a hangover to care and too familiar with what Hakkai was like when he was truly angry to be intimidated.

"So, do we know where they are now?" Asked Sanzo, cradling his head in one hand.

"We'll know where they are by nightfall," Replied Hakkai, "I hope you feel well enough to resolve your issues with Gojyo diplomatically by then."

"Yeah, yeah." Said Sanzo.

Hakkai started Jeep and then put him into gear.

Ten minutes later he chose to hum an annoying song because driving felt too weird without Sanzo getting pissed off in the passenger seat.

"I can't wait for this to be fucking over." Growled Sanzo.

--

It was afternoon, it was their last day and Goku wasn't happy. Gojyo had tried almost everything and while the alcohol and resultant hangover had been distracting, the drugs hadn't worked. They'd just made him worse. At least the pouting was cute. Not that he'd ever admit that because he quite liked having testicles. He was beginning to be sorry that they'd done a runner though, especially now that he had to live with Captain Freakout while he was waiting for the other two to catch up.

He might have said that last bit out loud.

Goku glared at him.

"Look, do you want to talk about this?" Sighed Gojyo.

"I feel like my skin is full of needles, I don't want to talk." The boy gritted out.

"You can't go on like this, we can go and meet him instead, then you won't have to wait." He tried.

"_No_, I can't go to him. He has to find m- us." Goku stood up and started pacing.

Gojyo tried to ignore the fact that some of their best sex had come from him pacing.

"Are you worried that he iwon't/i be bothered to come look for you?" Said Gojyo, "Because it's probably in our best interests that he doesn't, so we can talk to him _after_ he calms down."

Goku continued to pace.

"Goku..."

"I can't tell how he's feeling anymore Gojyo, can't hear anything at all..." Goku pursed his lips together.

Gojyo liked it when he pursed his lips together.

Goku's face twisted.

Gojyo liked it when his face twisted.

Gojyo stood up. He crossed the distance between them in two steps, then he curled his hand into Goku's hair and drew him close.

"Here's what's going to happen Goku," He whispered and Goku melted, relieved, into his embrace, "You're going to suck my cock and I'm going to fuck your mouth and then your ass because I know you want it."

Goku gasped.

"And I'm going to make it good and I'm going to make it slow because I haven't had a few days worth of Sanzo like you've had this time." Gojyo kissed Goku gently on the lips, "That sounds good, doesn't it?"

Goku fumbled for his zipper, "Yeah, yeah sounds good."

Gojyo lent back against the wall and helped Goku pop the top button on his jeans. He used the hand still in Goku's hair to guide him onto his knees. Gojyo was already getting hard by the time Goku closed one hand on his erection and the other on his hip. Goku licked a long stripe up his cock and paused to tongue the head. Then he started to slip his mouth over it, slowly stretching his lips around Gojyo's thick length. Gojyo started to push him down, slowly, so slowly, thanking the heavens that Goku didn't really have a gag reflex.

Goku's mouth was warm and wet and inviting. Even more so when he really started to suck. Gojyo moaned aloud when Goku hummed a little around his cock. He let it happen, let it soak in for a few long moments. Then he cradled Goku's face in his hands and started to thrust softly. Goku moaned this time and when Gojyo looked down he could see Goku's erection even through the thick material of his trousers.

"That's it babe, it's so good." He whispered, "I'm going to come soon, I'm going to come in your pretty mouth."

Goku's hand clenched his hip harder.

"Suck it, like that, yeah." Gojyo groaned.

Goku's mouth was stretched taut and saliva was beginning to slide down his chin as he forced his jaw to relax. Gojyo allowed his hips to pump with a little more force, keeping his hands gentle. He slid his cock in further and further, until he could feel the back of Goku's throat against the head of his prick. Goku looked up at him with his golden irises almost invisible around blown black pupils.

"Shit." Whispered Gojyo, then he came.

Goku swallowed most of it but Gojyo's cock slipped free of his mouth, just as the last pulses of his orgasm ran through. Cum hit Goku's mouth as he panted softly. He raised his tongue to his lips.

"God you're sexy," Gojyo said, voice dropping low.

Gojyo almost fell to his knees, still cupping Goku's face. He pulled the younger man towards him, until he was astride Gojyo's thighs and lapped at his cum-covered lips. Goku started to grind down, desperate for friction.

Gojyo thrust his hand into Goku's pants and hurriedly jerked him off. He watched Goku's face as he pulled on his cock. Goku looked so good when he was about to come. He had an acrobatic body that twisted beautifully when Gojyo squeezed him, stretched him, fucked him... It made him wonder why so few people noticed. Although, next to beautiful, thorny vines and poisonous violet flowers, a sunflower tended to be overlooked for its unabashed cheerfulness. As if being happy meant you lacked depth.

He was thinking in flower metaphors.

The minute this stupid trip was over he was going to find Goku someone nice to spend time with.

And now he'd turned into his incestuous aunt, too, apparently.

He stuck his tongue down Goku's throat and he came in a glorious, spasming mess. Gojyo sucked his neck while he panted, slowing getting his breath back.

"Gojyo, keep doing that, feels nice." Goku mumbled, basking in the afterglow.

So Gojyo tried to kiss it better. With tongue.

--

Goku had never had particularly strong feelings about the rain. When he'd been in his cave for all those long years, rain had made him wet and cold but it had also brought new growth on the plants along with interesting insects and animals to look at. After he'd left the cave the rain had become something to play in. Slowly, probably because he was a little slow himself, he'd started to realise that Sanzo didn't feel the same way. The more he tried to be help when the rains came, the more he started to feel his sun's pain. Hakkai had told him that he was feeling empathy.

A long buried part of Goku knew what empathy was and he knew that he was going beyond that. Empathy didn't make you see people die that you'd never met before. It didn't keep you awake, seeing yourself hurt over and again.

Goku was always very relieved when the rain stopped.

--

"Hey Goku, want to pop your cherry?"

He'd presumed Gojyo was making fun of him and he had been kind of right there. He just hadn't realised that he was being serious as well until he'd started blowing him on the cheap, foam mattress that the inn provided. It had been a bad night and Sanzo had been in a killer mood. It had been beginning to drive Goku crazy, being able to feel all that pain and not being able to do anything about it. At least, nothing that the monk would accept. So it came as a surprise that having sex with Gojyo made him feel... better. It made the feelings, the visions, _the taste of fear_ go away. Gojyo's fingers, clearly not as experienced with that type of sex as he thought he was, pushing inside him thickly and a little rough, grounded him. It was like being under earth. He felt insulated, like he was being kept under great pressure and intense heat.

When Gojyo pushed his way inside him, slowly burning a trail that he'd feel for days, Goku lost coherent thought altogether. Then he realised that as much as Gojyo liked to have sex, he also liked to see other people enjoy it too. Goku probably wouldn't have pushed him off had he decided otherwise. Instead, after he'd acted like a total perv, he slept in the same bed with him. Goku had fallen asleep too, feeling sore, a little lonely and more at peace than he had in months.

--

Gojyo pressed a slick, blunt finger and Goku's entrance. Goku sighed, waiting to feel him slip past the ring of muscle and start talking dirty. Goku liked the dirty talk because honestly, what they did together was pretty dirty in a really good way. Neither of them were too good with all that girly, emotional stuff. They were, however, good at macho, physical stuff. Like sticking dicks in places that they weren't evolved to go in but seemed to fit into pretty well anyway.

Gojyo twisted two fingers inside him, probing carefully and... oh yeah... that was it.

"Oh God, there." He cried, grasping at the sheets already.

Gojyo kissed him open mouthed and brief.

"Damn, you look good." He murmured, "Can you take another finger?"

The stupid part of Goku wanted to be fucking right _now_ but the rest of him remembered how it had hurt a bit more than he liked the last time they'd pushed too quickly.

"Yeah, use some more lube, feels really good.'

Gojyo growled playfully into Goku's throat and Goku choked back a pleased giggle in response. Gojyo's long, elegant fingers pulsed inside him and he groaned, long and low. Life was so much easier when he was outside his own head, it never seemed to work as well his body did on its own. Someone had derisively called it "animal intuition" once. Not that Goku cared.

Gojyo started fingering his prostate. Goku arched off the bed, wailing like a madman now that quiet was no longer required.

"So, do you want it now?" Gojyo whispered, smiling like a cat. His thick erection rubbed against Goku's thigh, promising and taunting him.

Goku had resolved early on never to tell Gojyo that he was about as hung as he thought he was. Being penetrated by something so big and hot was a pretty intense experience. He always felt like he was painfully, excitingly close to breaking when Gojyo first found his seat. It was like being pulled apart or pushing your body past breaking. Gojyo could do anything to him when they hit that point, could take and fuck and use him like a toy. Sometimes he did. Goku quite happily let him. Up until the last time, when they'd both been angry and tired and desperate to rut like animals, he'd always been careful about it.

He was being very careful now.

"So, how do you want to do this?" Asked Gojyo, insinuating himself between Goku's legs.

"This works." Goku mumbled, anticipation brimming.

Then Gojyo was on top of him, hands on his ass and sliding up his thighs. He grasped Goku's right knee and slipped it over his shoulder. The other Goku curled around his waist. They probably wouldn't be able to keep this up forever because Gojyo was ridiculously tall and Goku was still in the process of catching up. Gojyo pumped his length, spreading more lube as he went, then rubbed his hand dry on the sheets. They were cheap anyway and it'd wash out. He placed his hands on Goku's waist, pulling him up into a better angle. Then he settled his palms lower, spreading Goku's cheeks and lining himself up against his entrance.

"Bear down, Goku." Gojyo mouthed into his ear, starting to press the head of his cock against the relaxed muscle.

Goku was exceedingly glad he'd come once already because otherwise he was sure he'd be making a fool out of himself. For some reason the thought of a dick up his ass did that to him. One time he'd gotten so worked up that he pushed Gojyo off him, onto his back and then rode him like a wild thing until they both came screaming. It was only thick walls and thunder that had saved them that time, although Hakkai had watched them more closely for a few days, suspicious of fighting. Gojyo, for his part, had been shocked dumb but after he'd recovered enough to mock him, had tried to get him to do it again. And again...

Gojyo pushed and the bulbous head was inside him. Goku moaned happily. Gojyo bent forward, curling so he could nip at Goku's shoulder. Goku closed his eyes, feeling the older man thrust slowly in and out. Feeling himself slowly start to burn and savouring it because soon Gojyo would get the right angle and then Goku would dissolve...

Goku gasped and placed his hands in Gojyo's long hair. There it was. He kept his fingers relaxed only with on hard earned reflex, gained back in the days when he'd been much smaller and hadn't known his own strength. Gojyo pushed forward again, so slowly now that he'd found the angle he'd been looking for. Goku's eyelids fluttered and he exhaled shakily, a needy whine at the back of his throat.

"Yes." He whispered, clenched and trembling.

Gojyo shivered above him.

"Goddamn." He murmured. "Just, goddamn."

Goku rocked in time with Gojyo's lazy fucking, only half aware that he was making soft, porny noises. Gojyo placed open mouthed kisses on his neck, on his lips. Goku kissed back as much as Gojyo'd let him, made needy sounds when his mouth drifted away. Goku let one of his hands move downward to rest on Gojyo's muscular ass, earning a pleased grunt in response. Then he groped him.

Gojyo started, thrust himself balls deep and cried out. Gojyo pulled himself up and Goku smiled giddily because that had felt igood/i. Gojyo bit the knee still resting on his shoulder, Goku gasped again, then wrapped his hand around Goku's ankle. Gojyo pushed the leg higher, higher and thrust again so easily. If it hadn't been for the sweat on his brow and the tremor in that hand commanding his leg, Goku might have thought he was unaffected by it.

Gojyo started moving more quickly, more smoothly and soon Goku was crying out, praising and begging, "Gojyo, Gojyo, oh, right there, iGojyo!/i"

Gojyo pushed his leg even higher and suddenly... Suddenly...

Goku arched off the bed and came, spurting across his stomach, ass griping Gojyo's beautiful big cock. Gojyo pressed their mouths together and bit Goku's tongue. His hips slowed until they were just undulating, cock softening but still buried deep inside the younger man. Gojyo started to roll off, slowly so it wouldn't hurt too much, until Goku's firm arm stopped him.

"Just, stay like this for a bit." He said, voice soft now.

"Ok," Gojyo replied, settling his larger body back between Goku's thighs. Slowly easing the leg he was holding back down to the bed.

--

Goku fell asleep after about ten minutes of pleased afterglow. Gojyo decided to watch him. He looked different this way, up close. He was relaxed and handsome. Gojyo was very pleased that he was getting to see it and that he'd had a hand in it. Had a hand iin/i him for that matter. If that wasn't a thought to get him through his next bad day, he didn't know what was.

This relationship he now had, with Goku, he wasn't going to regret it. Even if Sanzo made his life hell and his best friend stopped respecting him. It had been worth it. Probably would have been better to be honest about it, in retrospect but that was hindsight for you and some people were just difficult to talk to no matter what you did.

Goku sighed peacefully in his sleep.

Nobody else had seen this side of him, Gojyo imagined. Possibly the monk but if he had he'd kept it to himself and buried it under less gentle thoughts. Gojyo hadn't known it existed up until very recently, even though they shared a room almost every night. He was a lucky man.

Gojyo sighed. Yes, he was lucky to get this given everything.

"I wish I was in love with you." He whispered, lowly into Goku's hair, "I wish you were in love with me."

Gojyo settled himself more comfortably, resting his head on his arm.

"But I don't know how to love anyone, not the way these things need to go anyway and you met somebody else long before me."

"I'm going to fight for you though, because you deserve that."

Gojyo closed his eyes and grinned at the thought of fighting for someone else for a change.

--

Here's the next three chapters again, already up on aff but now here as well. I hope everybody's liking it thus far, there isn't too much left to go.


	4. Chapter 4

Fighting on Main street...

--

Goku's shift had started at sunset and he did his job even though his unease had been rebuilding since he woke up. He'd been waiting all day, unable to hear more than stony silence where there had been incoherent rage before. He spent the evening glancing at the door and wanting the monk to just come find him and get it over with. When Sanzo finally arrived it was the middle of happy hour.

In Goku's mind the crowd parted around him.

In reality everyone was either walking toward the bar or as far away from the grumpy, gun-wielding priest as they could get. All of Goku's previous angst dissipated and he was left fearless and warm and numb because he realised nothing in the world had been worse than being without his sun. If Sanzo decided to shoot him, he would not care because before he had not thought it was possible, conceivable to care for someone so much. Even if he still wasn't quite sure of the capacity. He just knew it was important, big, like thinking there was a grain of sand on your finger only to realise you were standing on a beach full of it and your feet were slowly sinking. Sanzo could take it out of his hide, just so long as he didn't get rid of him. It would be worth it.

Their eyes met and it felt as though they had been apart for an age. Goku needed to tell him, needed him to know that he would always be there and that wouldn't change even if he had other people in his life. Needed Sanzo to know how painful it was to wait and feel and not know...

Then someone smacked him on the back of his head with a beer bottle and he fell over, unconscious.

Sanzo was there in an instant, jabbing the guy in the throat with the tips of his fingers. Then he kicked him in the stomach when he fell. The crowd bristled for a moment until Sanzo snarled at them and then the herd thought better of it.

Gojyo put down the guy he'd been playfully threatening and walked over to Goku. He prodded Goku gently with his boot. Sanzo strode back through the crowd, sneering at him.

"Well, I for one didn't see this coming." Said Gojyo.

--

Sanzo glared at Gojyo. Gojyo glared at Sanzo. The bar fell silent, sensing the need for self-preservation, while their Mexican standoff continued.

"Well isn't this lovely," Said Hakkai dryly, smile banished from his handsome face, "You're fighting over his honour on Main Street and the winner gets to keep his flesh as a trophy."

Gojyo and Sanzo stared at him, shocked pale. Hakkai allowed himself the decadent luxury of a snort. He bent down and quickly checked that Goku's spine was in working order and that his skull, thick though it was, hadn't managed a fracture.

"Gojyo, give me your room key, he's going to need some quiet." Hakkai ordered, palm already outstretched.

Gojyo handed it over and Hakkai took it then he bent down to pick Goku up. Gojyo pointed at the stairs. Hakkai decided it was best to leave them to themselves for a while. Goku certainly didn't need to be in the middle of their cockfight over his virtue. Hopefully he'd never find out about it at all.

--

The thunder was gone.

Sanzo and Gojyo looked anywhere but at each-other. So, that was what they'd been doing. Fighting over Goku, of all people. Romantic battles were not usually waged over the nice one and certainly not over someone so dangerous.

It was morbidly embarrassing.

They coughed at the same time.

"Where's the bar," Sanzo asked, deceptively mild.

"Over there." Gojyo motioned.

"Good, I need a drink."

They both took a seat at the bar. After ten minutes it was clear that they were competing over who could drink the most shots.

--

Goku stirred after about half an hour. He shakily lifted a hand to his head and moaned pitifully, "Ow." He tried to sit up and then he noticed Hakkai in the room with him.

He startled like a cat thrown into a bucket of water.

"Hi, Hakkai." He said, voice high and tremulous.

"It has been a while, Goku." Hakkai replied.

"I bet you're really disappointed." Goku said after a short pause, because Hakkai would be straight with him. Hakkai would help.

Hopefully.

Hakkai looked at the floor for a moment.

"I don't know if disappointed is the right word." He said, "Although after a while I was little worried about not being as shocked as I thought I should be."

"I'm very sorry to say this because I'm really glad that you're not yelling at me for being so stupid but... I don't know what you're talking about."

"I'm not entirely sure either." Hakkai replied.

"That makes me feel better."

"It's improper of me to say this but I always thought you didn't like secrets." Hakkai ventured, hurt slightly colouring his voice.

Goku's cheeks went a little pink.

"I... Um... I tried to talk to you about it. Once." Goku went even more red, "You kinda told me not to fight with Gojyo and then I got too embarrassed to try again. I sorta figured, after that, that if nobody cared then maybe it didn't count. I mean, I don't know what you Sanzo do when you hole yourselves up some nights. I just figure that it helps so it doesn't count as a secret at all."

Hakkai's heart clenched.

"I'm sorry for not listening to your concerns," Hakkai said, voice firmer and softer now.

"Well, that's the thing, you're busy and there's a lot going on. You're not always going to have time. It's just that... It's always the four of us. It's just now Gojyo 'n me have done different than we had before and that seems to have changed things. Sanzo was really angry."

Goku was beet red now and looking as though he wanted the ground to open up and swallow him.

"I don't think less of you, Goku. You've just taken a step that changed you a little and none of us are good with change except you." Hakkai hoped that he could make him understand that.

"Sanzo..." Goku tried to find the words but they clearly wouldn't come.

"Sanzo has had you to himself for years and he's never had to share in the way that you have." Hakkai said, remembering all the time they'd spent together with Goku waiting patiently outside, all the meetings Sanzo had with high priests and dignitaries, "He was jealous, although he doesn't know it and he was afraid for you."

Goku's face flushed with something like hope.

"I trust you'll keep it to yourself."

Goku nodded, slowly but with conviction.

"You know Sanzo hasn't had the easiest life, there are some things he's kept away from you because he cares in his own way. He may well be a bastard about this and Gojyo is certainly in for it but he's not going anywhere and he does understand, even if he'd rather not."

Goku sighed with relief, which clearly said something about what he had to deal with on a daily basis if this knowledge inspired irelief/i. Goku's eyes started to droop.

"Now that we've had a chat, I think you should sleep a little. You've just sustained a head injury and you'll need some sleep after the little repair that I did." Hakkai put a hand behind Goku's head, "Don't sleep on the pillow, we'll just keep your spine straight for a while."

"Ok, Hakkai." Goku said, "And... Thank you."

Hakkai smiled a little and it was genuine, "You're Welcome."

--

The bar was almost empty by now. A few thrill-seeking punters remained near the pool table, quietly betting on whether the blond or the red-haired guy was going to fall first. They were also taking bets on whether they'd kill each-other or just cause irreparable harm. All was quiet, save the occasional clink of glass on wood or mumbled bet. The man that had been knocked out earlier for attacking the little bouncer was still out cold, which was for the best really. His brown coat had already been frisked for valuables and had been found wanting.

Barman wasn't sure what to make of it. He'd probably be losing money if it weren't for the sheer amount of expensive liquor the tall bouncer and the priest were drinking. Most would have been surprised to see a priest drink, let alone drink so much. Barman, in the manner of all barmen, knew better.

He just hoped that they were not planning on desecrating any more of his gaming equipment.

--

It was building, Sanzo could feel it. It was only a matter of time before one of them cracked and they started arguing. It was only Hakkai's earlier, implicit threat that held back the deluge of words but even that couldn't last forever. Sanzo and Gojyo had never managed to get along particularly well with each-other, compared to how they were with Goku or Hakkai. Whatever was said tonight could not be unsaid and they were both to stubborn to forgive easily, eventually or possibly at all.

Gojyo spoke first and he tried to push what little advantage he had on that move.

"You're a real asshole, you know that?"

It was only shock and perhaps a little morbid interest that kept Sanzo from shooting. It didn't stop him from aiming.

"You'll get a hole in the head, you keep talking to me that way."

"You could try." Gojyo sneered, "This is why you don't have many friends, just by the by."

"At least I don't convince mine to let me fuck them until they bleed." Sanzo's eyes were blazing, "Don't try to tell me he asked for it, because I've heard that one before and it's always been bullshit."

Gojyo raised his hands at that and Sanzo's train of thought was momentarily disarmed by the gesture.

"We'd both had a bad day, we were both feeling like crap and I pushed it when I shouldn't have. Goku told me and I backed off. You walked in after the damage was done and then you did what you always do and tried to bust a cap in my ass. What did you think was going to happen?"

"I thought I was going to put your head through a wall but you _ran away_ before I could get that far." Sanzo downed another shot because he needed it, "Pussy."

"Goku's gayer than a maypole." Gojyo blurted petulantly.

Sanzo looked at him.

"Yeah, suck on that. Even if you kill me he'll be screwing other men until judgement day."

Sanzo kept looking at him. Steadily.

"Ok, so you already knew he was gay. Why do you care who he fucks?"

"You have, at some point or other, contracted every major, non-fatal venereal disease known to man. I didn't get him out of Mount Gogyo just so he could die six years later from syphilis!" Sanzo spat.

"I'm clean!" Gojyo retorted, before he could stop himself.

"You've also never had a relationship that lasted more than three hours, if you don't include the time you spent asleep. He deserves better."

Gojyo tensed. Sanzo realised after a moment that he had managed to enrage him, accidentally for once. He didn't know why. Gojyo steeled his jaw.

"Fuck you, asshole. _Deserves better_ you think he _deserves better_." Gojyo hissed, "Monkey loves you so damn much it's sickening and every time you have a bad day you just have to drag him off to all the bad places with you. You should see it, it's like watching a caged animal."

"What?" Sanzo almost dropped his gun in spite of himself, the thought of anyone knowing just what he saw with the rain began was horrid and deeply embarrassing.

"Like some sort of living security blanket," Gojyo continued, pausing only to take a healthy sip of his whiskey, "I bet you don't even know you do it but whenever it rains he goes nuts and with you 'n Hakkai locked away, _I'm_ the only one he has to turn to."

Sanzo remembered the panicked and disjointed thoughts he'd been hearing for days.

"Geez, Sanzo, you know I'm only good for one thing. You tell me as much on a regular basis. He's affectionate, everything he does is physical. You'd rather no one touched you ever. If he can't have the one he wants, then having someone that likes him is the next best thing. And I do like him, there's a lot to... appreciate... if you get me. "

"Shut up." Sanzo hissed.

"We only ever do it when it rains." Gojyo said, staring Sanzo straight in the eyes, "I can tell you that if you keep screwing him over like you always do, you selfish bastard, our thing'll keep going on too."

"Shut the fuck up." Sanzo hissed again, louder this time.

"If _you_ were less fucked up, maybe it could have been you. You could have _had_ him. But you like being fucked up, it's like a status symbol and coincidentally, _Goku_ likes being fucked up th'..."

Sanzo hit him. Hard.

"Don't fucking talk about him like that."

"You deal your way, so long as you leave us to ourselves that's how it's going to be." Gojyo spat, "You have to choose."

Gojyo slammed his drink back down on the bar top.

"You really piss me off sometimes, ya stupid priest."

--

Hakkai heard the quiet knock on the door about an hour after Goku fell asleep. It was Sanzo, looking slightly wobbly on his feet and about as self-loathing as he was capable of being. His repentant bitterness was all that saved him from a lecture.

"He's sleeping." Hakkai said, "You might want to think of getting a room for the night."

"I'll keep my mouth shut." It passed for a promise and an admission when coming from the stony priest. Sanzo wanted to stay with Goku and he didn't want to go downstairs and risk confronting Gojyo again. He was going to behave.

"Call me if he wakes up."

Sanzo sat down in the chair by the bed and didn't say anything. He slumped back and let his legs sprawl forward, like a kid waiting in front of the principal's office. Hakkai silently left him to his vigil.

Hakkai walked slowly down the hall, to the stairs and then across the pub floor to the bar. Gojyo was curled in his chair, face down on the bar top and the bartender was busily not looking at anyone. Hakkai took the seat next to Gojyo.

"So," he said, "I take it you won."

He felt, rather than saw, Gojyo's tired grin.

"Yeah, I kicked his ass, _with words_." Gojyo replied, clearly viewing this as an important first, "He gave me a black eye though."

Gojyo sat up. His left eye was blooming in mottled red and black, and almost entirely bruised shut.

"I'd be lying if I said you didn't deserve as much." Hakkai said mildly, "Keeping things from me, of all people."

Gojyo grimaced a little, then laughed.

"Yeah, you're right, the next time you'll be the first to know as soon as it happens. I'll make sure to call you, my best friend, every time I successfully have sex."

"Do you want me to heal your eye?" Hakkai asked pointedly.

"Yes please, shutting up now."

"Good."

--

The most current two chapters. This is going to conclude fairly soon, so come back in like a week or so to see how it all ends.


	5. Chapter 5

Prefer the word Doomed...

--

When Goku woke up the next morning he felt refreshed and relaxed. The sun was shining out the window. His head didn't hurt anymore. The morning air felt cool on his skin. Sanzo was slumped in a chair next to him, drooling a little.

Goku briefly wondered if this was his version of a Christmas Carol. Normally people weren't quite so keen to be in a room alone with him.

Goku watched. Just for a while. Sanzo was looking thinner lately and perhaps a little ragged around the edges. His face was still smooth when asleep but Goku could tell that lines were going to start appearing eventually, few of them from laughter or joy if he was not careful. Goku was going to have to convince him to give up smoking soon, as well. Hakkai wouldn't be constantly available to fix his black lungs forever. They all had lives that were waiting to start, once this trip was out of the way. Goku wondered what he was going to do with his.

What sort of future could he have, if he was being practical? He had no saleable skills other than strength and martial skill and maybe loyalty. He was good at being loyal. He was so glad Sanzo had found him on the mountain. Otherwise he'd have never had an outlet for it.

It had been a good thing that he'd let himself get knocked out, if he'd opened his mouth when Sanzo'd walked through the door it would have been humiliating. Well, more humiliating.

He slid out of bed and slipped one of Sanzo's arms over his. Then he hefted him up slowly and pushed him on top of the sheets. Sanzo tensed, near awake and Goku took his place on the chair. Goku heard him breathe in through his nose and then collapse bodily into the bed, like a tyre that had just been cut.

"Monkey." He mumbled, giving up on wakefulness yet again.

Goku watched.

--

Sanzo knew he was being stared at but he couldn't bring himself to mind too much. He could smell earth and water, which meant that Goku was the one looking. That was ok. Sanzo liked him when he was this kind of quiet. It meant he was well-fed and pensive. Which in turn meant he was in good health and not unhappy.

That basically ticked off every point on Sanzo's internal, subconscious checklist for things that he needed to ensure on a daily basis.

Of course, if he woke up it might all go to hell. Things tended to fuck up whenever he was conscious. He opened his eyes anyway. No point putting off whatever shit storm that surely awaited him. He was facing a wall. Not bad start, really.

He rolled over. The hang-over made the trip more interesting than he would have liked. Goku was smiling at him. Given that Sanzo had unknowingly abused him with his fucked up memories _and_ chased him into a rainstorm, he couldn't see why he was doing that. Sanzo would have shot himself if he'd been in a similar position. Although, that was what had got them into such a mess in the first place.

Not that he'd admit it.

And he probably would have missed on purpose.

He really wished Goku would just hit him already. It would make things so much easier. Sanzo managed to sit up after a few moments and the room didn't spin too much. His hands itched for a cigarette but he decided to ignore them. Then something occurred to him.

"Why..." His mouth was dry as a desert, he had to cough so he could talk properly, "Why am I on the bed?"

"I put you there after I woke up. You looked like you needed it." replied Goku.

"Oh." And because Sanzo could never abide people trying to save his feelings, "Why the hell didn't you tell me I was calling out to you?"

Goku looked away. So, that meant there had been opportunities to tell him and he'd chosen not to. He hadn't been able to articulate it before but that had been what bothered him most. Sanzo didn't cry out when he was in pain, never knowingly, never unless he had to. So much for muichimotsu. He'd been holding on to the monkey for years and he hadn't even known it.

Goku should have struck him down at the first.

"If I had you would have tried to fix it." Goku said, "But your kind of fixing means making things you don't like go away."

Goku paused a moment and carefully glanced his way. Sanzo was going to hold his tongue. He owed him that and more.

"I figured that some of it was about your Master and some of it was from when you were a kid. I didn't think you should forget it, so I didn't tell you and for ages I wasn't sure what it was myself. It's not like it's been happening forever, it only really started up once we were on the road and youkai started turning up more. I think Gojyo figured it out before I did, although he hasn't said anything."

Goku became still. Clearly Gojyo's name had slipped out before he'd meant it to. That or he was testing the waters. Sanzo, fighting his harsh nature, decided that was fair enough.

"Fuck." Sanzo breathed out. It was the only appropriate response.

"I'm sorry about what happened to you, Sanzo, I'm sorry I didn't tell you right away. Just... Please don't shut me out." Goku replied.

"As if you'd ever let me." Sanzo said in turn.

Goku smiled again. The kind of smile he'd only had when he was sleeping as a child. Sanzo had been a pretty crappy guardian, he wasn't going to deny it. Goku had slept in a shed for about a week before Sanzo finally owned up to the temple. He'd made sure he was fed though, made sure there was a roof over his head.

Made sure no one's eyes wandered where they weren't wanted.

True, he'd been doing that for a long time. Not just for other people. Not that Goku needed a defender, it was just that there were just some things easier left unknown. Sanzo had been young and pretty once. He had hated it. Still hated it.

"Why did you let Gojyo hurt you like that?" Sanzo asked, "He ripped me a new one but I won't really believe him until I hear it from you."

"It wasn't a good day, I was unhappy and Gojyo was pissed off. He didn't mean to do it and he listened to me when I told him he was hurting me."

"You were unhappy because of me, weren't you?"

"Sanzo..."

"Don't lie." Sanzo said.

"When you're unhappy, I feel unhappy too." Goku said, "That's how I am with all of you guys and it's not going to change."

"But it's different with me." Sanzo pushed only because this was so very important.

"Yeah, it's different with you."

Sanzo filled up with hate and directed all of it inward.

"I don't always know what to do with you. You keep so much of yourself to yourself. If that makes any sense at all. That's who you are though and I don't think anyone that was any different could have heard me from so far away."

Goku lifted himself up off the chair and sat back down on the edge of the bed. He was warm and Sanzo wondered why Goku thought of him as the sun, when he wasn't the one that had fire and heat.

"I don't want you to change for me. I like you as you are." Goku said.

"I'm a violent hypocrite with an alcohol problem." Sneered Sanzo, gaze firmly locked on the door.

"Yeah, I like that about you too."

Sanzo relaxed a little.

"I should go talk to Hakkai, see how Jeep's doing." Sanzo said, after a few minutes of comfortable silence.

Goku started to stand up.

"Y-yeah."

Sanzo placed a hand on his shoulder.

"Are you okay?"

Goku turned, smiling still although now there was some strain. Words unsaid were hiding in his eyes. Sanzo wondered how he'd ever let come to let Goku care so much, when all it ever gave him was hurt.

"I'm not going far." He promised.

There was a pain in his chest that he hadn't felt in a long time. He carded his hand through Goku's hair.

"Ok." Goku replied.

Sanzo parted from him more reluctantly that he usually did. Probably because he'd been worried before.

Yeah, that was it.

"Go eat something." He said in parting.

--

Gojyo waited until the Monk was down the stairs before going to see how Goku was.

He opened the door to find Goku crying silently.

It was only Goku's quiet, "Hey," that stopped him running down the stairs to kick Sanzo's ass. He forcefully swallowed his anger and hugged him.

"You alright?"

"I think I..." Goku choked, "I think I... _Him_..."

Gojyo sighed.

"Yeah, yeah you do."

"Oh. _Shit_." Goku replied.

"I think you could do much better than him, kid."

"I could, how?" Goku said, still teary.

Gojyo patted his back.

"Do I have a hope?" Goku asked.

"I prefer the word doomed when referring to a relationship with him." Gojyo said wryly.

"The kind of doomed I want?"

"Only because you're a _crazy_ little homo."

"Fuck you." Goku said, holding him tighter.

"Been there and enjoyed it." Gojyo replied, "You were there too you know, I'd think you'd remember."

Goku laughed, "Dick." Then thumped him on the shoulder.

Goku pulled away and rubbed the tear tracks on his face.

"I'm hungry, let's get something to eat."

--

Hakkai and Sanzo were already downstairs, talking quietly. They had food already. Goku sat down gratefully, eating slowly and thanking whichever deity that didn't have it in for them for the fact that Sanzo and Gojyo weren't fighting. It had to be a good sign if they weren't trying to kill each-other.

"So, what are we going to do today?" Goku asked, still mindful of potential conflict.

"Get in the jeep and get the fuck out of here. We've got youkai to kill on Tuesday and I'd like to be a little further west by then." Sanzo grumbled, drinking water and wincing slightly.

"Great, great." Replied Goku.

"Jeep is already packed." Added Hakkai.

Gojyo and Goku finished the last of the rice. Sanzo stubbed out his morning cigarette.

They all stood as one. Then they walked out the door.

Goku returned three seconds later.

"Hey, thanks barman, see you around!" Shouted Goku.

Barman, in the manner of all barmen everywhere, just nodded and continued cleaning his glass.

--


End file.
